Psalm 133: 1-3
1 How wonderful and pleasant it is
when brothers live together in harmony!
2 For harmony is as precious as the anointing oil
that was poured over Aaron’s head,
that ran down his beard
and onto the border of his robe.
3 Harmony is as refreshing as the dew from Mount Hermon
that falls on the mountains of Zion.
And there the Lord has pronounced his blessing,
even life everlasting.
when brothers live together in harmony!
2 For harmony is as precious as the anointing oil
that was poured over Aaron’s head,
that ran down his beard
and onto the border of his robe.
3 Harmony is as refreshing as the dew from Mount Hermon
that falls on the mountains of Zion.
And there the Lord has pronounced his blessing,
even life everlasting.
Families - we all have them.
They are the place where life begins…
- Where we are nurtured, protected, fed, and raised.
- Where we learn to interact with others and the world around us.
- We learn how to say “please” and “thank you” .
- We learn how to say “excuse me” and “I’m sorry”.
- We learn that falling down or touching a hot stove can be painful.
And we learn how love - expressed in a hug, a kiss, an embrace, a kind word - can make things, at least a little, better.
But families can also be one of the first places where we learn other things….
- How to hurt or be hurt by those who are supposed to love us the best - the most
- Exposure to disagreements and dysfunctional relationships
- Where we can be spoken to harshly
- Where we can feel the sting of betrayal
- Where an exit seems like salvation…
Families are tricky things.
Families can be messy.
Places of love, and places of pain.
Families gather around the table, sharing their lives and sometimes their differences, seeking to find and maintain a precious unity that stays with us through the good and the bad.
Unity, by the way, is not uniformity.
Unity is not the absence of differences - it is the choice of intentional relationship in the midst of those differences - held together by a bond that does not come natural to any of us.
A bond of love.
The family that I call the United Methodist Church -
The family in which I first heard about real life (abundant and eternal)…
The family that nurtured, fed, and protected my faith…
The family that taught me how to say “please” and “thank you”, and “excuse me”, and “I’m sorry.”…
The family that comforted me when life hurt….
Had a fight last week.
One that started when I was very young and one that the enemy of the KOG has been using to divide us for far, far too long.
Members of the family came together, trying to find a way forward that could preserve our precious unity…
But, instead, made decisions that may have only added fuel to the fire and may unavoidably lead to a painful divorce.
I pray that is not the case.
You have no idea how I pray that is not the case.
You see, I am a child of divorce….
When I was about 13, my parents - who must have loved each other at some point in their 25 year marriage - now found themselves living at opposite ends of the house.
Each night, as I said my prayers, I cried out to God:
“God, please don’t let happen what I think is going to happen.”
But then, one night … it did.
Sitting on the couch in our den, my father told me their decision.
As the news sank deep into my chest, he asked me if I was OK.
I swallowed hard … and lied - “Yes”, while every fiber in my body wanted to cry out “No!”
Before I knew it, the house was sold and our lives turned upside down.
It was a painful experience, to be sure.
And though un-welcomed, it became a place of great strength, learning, and growth for me.
I discovered truths - some good, some not so good - about my mother, my father, our family, even myself.
And through it all, I learned how to firmly trust in God - a gift I am grateful for, especially today.
My other family - The United Methodist Church - may be headed down a similar road.
I honestly don’t know.
I can assure you that I am - and have been - praying for peace and continued unity.
But even if the answer is an un-welcome one, I know God will see us through.
He always has.
Part of my pain this past week is in seeing a church - a family that I love - struggle to hold on to what they feel is essential -
One side seeking to preserve their understanding of marriage, the other seeking to be loved unconditionally.
Neither side wants to hurt the other.
But the pain is real, and palpable. And unfortunate.
For me, what is truly heartbreaking, is to see the church where my faith was born - a church that welcomed me and allowed me to question, grow, and mature - potentially lose what I feel is uniquely ours as Wesleyan Christians:
- The ability to recognize that devoted, well meaning and serious Christians can read the Scriptures and come to different understandings.
- The ability to listen to one another - to be challenged - and maybe see something we didn’t see before, or be strengthened in our convictions.
- The ability to hold different views, but remain in love.
As my colleague Magrey DeVega reminded me this week, in a statement to the congregation he leads at Hyde Park in Tampa:
“What made me fall deeply in love with this denomination is the aspirational belief that John Wesley demonstrated time and again in his writings and his ministry, that there is always a third way - in the center - that could bring out the best of polarized extremes and produce a vibrant, redemptive, third way forward.”
It was John Wesley who asked:
“Though we cannot think alike, may we not love alike?
May we of one heart, though we are not of one opinion? Without all doubt, we may.”
It breaks my heart that we seemingly cannot find a “third way”.
But I will continue to strive for one, regardless.
Conclusion:
(Image on screen - top of this blog post)
Illus. Of Wesley and Coke -
“Offer them Christ, Thomas”
30 years ago, when I was being interviewed during the Ordination process, I was asked a question regarding my role during the administration of Communion:
“What do you feel or think about when presenting Communion?”
My response?
“I am ordained to administer the sacraments, not to determine who is worthy of them.”
And that is what I will always do.
Like so many others, I will offer Christ.
My job - and quite frankly, the job of every follower of Christ - is to love as Jesus has loved - unconditionally and without condemnation - and let the Holy Spirit do the rest.
So now what?
Frankly, denominationally speaking, I don’t know.
The weeks and months ahead will reveal that.
But here’s what I do know:
I am a minister of the Gospel - ordained to offer the love of Christ, seeking to “make disciples of all nations”.
I am a minister of the Gospel - and it is not my job to fix the church.
It is my job to be the church and to equip others to do the same.
That is what I have done and will continue to do, and no matter which side of this issue you may find yourself on, and I pray you will join me.
Regardless of what the future holds - what we are called to do as Hope church has not - nor will it ever - change:
Be the church.
You already know what God wants from you - To do justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with your God.
To be a cup of cold water, salt and light, grace and truth - for a hurting and dying world.
To be the church - the church that Jesus lived and died for…
The church I will live and die for, too.
Not because she is perfect, but because she is beloved by God.
Because You are beloved by God.
In the end, General Conference voted not to allow clergy to perform weddings for anyone in the LGBTQ community, or to allow for their ordination within the United Methodist Church to serve as clergy.
But do not mistake those restrictions for a statement about your worth or value.
To those who identify with the LGBTQ community …. God sees you…I see you… God loves you, and so do I.
For those who have family members who identify with LGBTQ community….siblings, sons, daughters, grandchildren….. God sees you…I see you….God loves you, and so do I.
To those of you who hold to a traditional view on these issues…. God sees you… I see you… God loves you, and so do I.
Together, let us do as Philippians 2:12 instructs us - to “work out our own salvation with fear and trembling”, knowing that all of us are saved by the grace of God and nothing else.
Let us work to preserve a precious unity - a unity that is won by erring on the side of compassion and love.
A unity Jesus Himself prayed we would have, in the Garden of Gethsemane.
READ - John 17: 20-23
Paul also reminds us of the precious unity God wants for us -
Ephesians 4: 1-6
Therefore I, a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God.
2 Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.
3 Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace.
4 For there is one body and one Spirit, just as you have been called to one glorious hope for the future.
5 There is one Lord, one faith, one baptism, 6 one God and Father of all, who is over all, in all, and living through all.
Yes, families are tricky things.
Families can be messy.
But families gather around the table, sharing their lives, their hurts, their joys, their love, their pain …
- and, yes, sometimes even their differences
- all the while seeking to find a precious unity that remains.
Families gather around the table...
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